Sunday, December 21, 2014

Purging

I have been on a purging binge. Not food, but clothes, shoes even accessories that remind me of things that I would rather forget. Things that don't fit, are too dare I say "young" or "too vintage" too dated. Some of this is Mayle.  Some of this is fitness clothes and some of this is things that i simply cant look at.

I woke up yesterday morning and decided that I have too much stuff. I bought a Jennifer Meyer for    J Crew necklace last year. I tried to wear it, but it just didn't lay right. It just didn't look good. So I sold it on eBay. The same with a ton of my precious Mayle, which is actually turning out to not be so precious anymore. At the end of the day its just clothes. This weekend I sold my Lana gown that I haven't worn in 5 years and was too big. I sold my Lena dress that's too big.  I listed my giant wavy knit Mayle scarf on eBay, along with a silk aubergine camisole blouse from Fall 2006 and my cherished black and white Petulia dress from 2004. Its hard to part with these things. But they don't fit, I don't wear them and whats the point of holding on to them?

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Holidaze

This holiday season is a bit of a daze for me. A year ago I wasn't working, was trying to figure out how I was going to buy gifts and in general was in a pit of malaise.  This year I am fortunate, I have a great job but again I am not into "the season."  Its hard to walk around and see people shopping when a part of me feels like I cant even manage.   New York was a great trip, it reinvigorated my feelings about friendship, and reminded me that no matter how far away they are these friends are true friends. They would drop things for me in a second. If I was in an accident they would rush to be by my side.   I continue on this path in Portland of "knowing people" but in the end are they actually a friend?"  This is the first year that I really don't need to buy anyone outside of family a gift. That's sort of a relief.  Though I did get two friends very small things that I know they will like.

For myself? I want a balenciaga clutch on sale at Nordstrom but no where else. A barneys gift card so that I can buy a fun flirty pre-spring Proenza dress. A nordstrom gift card to buy said clutch or a variety of other amazing Preonza things. A sephora gift card so that I can actually reach ROUGE level for 2015. I want a variety of Proenza dresses from past season that are on sale on Yoox. 




Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Golden Shears

Back in August I had my year ahead tarot reading.  I know, to most people tarot and astrology are a bunch of malarkey but to me its something. I remember signing the offer for letter for my "dream magazine job" when mercury was in retrograde. Everything that was so appealing - the 15K raise, the glamour of high fashion etc was soon run over by a higher insurance premium out of each pay check, the fact that I couldn't expense cabs home/meals after 7 (and I often worked til midnight). I ended up quitting after 6 months.  Sure not everything comes true, but for the most part it all makes sense.  So when Miss Renee told me that it was time to get out the golden shears and cut some friends at first I wasn't sure honestly who here in PDX was left? Jen had moved and we talk daily. I had stopped speaking to Julia and a few others who ended up being judgemental and disappointing.  Mainly more selfish and self-centered.    After exploring in therapy why I am attracted to certain types of people as friends, things started making sense. That person is like my mother (bossy, critical, over bearing - must always be right, talks over you, doesn't really listen to what your saying). Or like my father, unavailable, doesn't show up, doesn't call, but when you hang out you have fun.

Knowing that these two people denied me so much (love, attention, affection, not to mention material things) I keep or kept finding myself drawn to these types of people. But now? I am finally at 42 feeling like I don't need to find this type of friend. I am not lacking, I don't need a friend with the same mentally cruel traits as my parents. I don't need to live in a constant reminder of trying to constantly please someone and it not be good enough. 

So I am letting things go. Good luck to those people whom I have decided to part acquaintance with. Sure in some ways I will miss you, but I really love the mental freedom.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Perfect Work Dress

Currently at JCrew for $168. Its the perfect work dress.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Recent High Street Covets

Though I have been mainly purging and NOT shopping I have been crushing on a few cost effective pieces from the local high street stores (J.Crew, Zara).   Things to think about as always they end up on sale.



Proenza Resort

Super obsessed with these resort dresses from Proenza. All flawless. Time to pay off those credit cards.






Sunday, October 5, 2014

A Check In

Its been awhile since I blogged anything. I would like to say that its because I have been busy with work, but that's not why. I would like to say that I have been busy with friends but that isn't a reason either. To be honest I haven't felt like it. I haven't been inspired by anything recently. Sure I have been reading a ton, and listening to a lot of music. Those things keep me going thru the day. Obviously lots of therapy. Lots and Lots of that.  I have also been re-examining my life and thinking about changes in all areas.   I would love to say that I bought something amazing, but in theory I have been purging - getting rid of things that don't fit - trying not to be so precious with clothing, at the end of the day its just fabric and there is always going to be something new that is just as"special."   I have been trying to re-examine my priorities. Re-think life. I can't say that I wont be back, because I know that I will but for now, I may not be here as often as I was before.   I hope that you are enjoying October as much as I am.