Back in August I had my year ahead tarot reading. I know, to most people tarot and astrology are a bunch of malarkey but to me its something. I remember signing the offer for letter for my "dream magazine job" when mercury was in retrograde. Everything that was so appealing - the 15K raise, the glamour of high fashion etc was soon run over by a higher insurance premium out of each pay check, the fact that I couldn't expense cabs home/meals after 7 (and I often worked til midnight). I ended up quitting after 6 months. Sure not everything comes true, but for the most part it all makes sense. So when Miss Renee told me that it was time to get out the golden shears and cut some friends at first I wasn't sure honestly who here in PDX was left? Jen had moved and we talk daily. I had stopped speaking to Julia and a few others who ended up being judgemental and disappointing. Mainly more selfish and self-centered. After exploring in therapy why I am attracted to certain types of people as friends, things started making sense. That person is like my mother (bossy, critical, over bearing - must always be right, talks over you, doesn't really listen to what your saying). Or like my father, unavailable, doesn't show up, doesn't call, but when you hang out you have fun.
Knowing that these two people denied me so much (love, attention, affection, not to mention material things) I keep or kept finding myself drawn to these types of people. But now? I am finally at 42 feeling like I don't need to find this type of friend. I am not lacking, I don't need a friend with the same mentally cruel traits as my parents. I don't need to live in a constant reminder of trying to constantly please someone and it not be good enough.
So I am letting things go. Good luck to those people whom I have decided to part acquaintance with. Sure in some ways I will miss you, but I really love the mental freedom.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Though I have been mainly purging and NOT shopping I have been crushing on a few cost effective pieces from the local high street stores (J.Crew, Zara). Things to think about as always they end up on sale.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Its been awhile since I blogged anything. I would like to say that its because I have been busy with work, but that's not why. I would like to say that I have been busy with friends but that isn't a reason either. To be honest I haven't felt like it. I haven't been inspired by anything recently. Sure I have been reading a ton, and listening to a lot of music. Those things keep me going thru the day. Obviously lots of therapy. Lots and Lots of that. I have also been re-examining my life and thinking about changes in all areas. I would love to say that I bought something amazing, but in theory I have been purging - getting rid of things that don't fit - trying not to be so precious with clothing, at the end of the day its just fabric and there is always going to be something new that is just as"special." I have been trying to re-examine my priorities. Re-think life. I can't say that I wont be back, because I know that I will but for now, I may not be here as often as I was before. I hope that you are enjoying October as much as I am.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
I am hard on shoes, and though I love them I tend to treat certain ones like precious cargo (they get little wear) and some I wear to death. These past two summers its been my Balenciaga flat sandals with the studs (in gray and black). They probably have another summer ahead before I have to find a replacement. Because I have skinny legs/calves its impossible for me to find boots that fit well. The past few years I have simply just worn ankle boots with my favorites being an incredibly cheap pair from nine west and my Rag & Bone metallic Newbury boots. I normally don't shop from magazines, but last weekend as I was flipping through the September issue of Lucky, I came across these boots from nine west. I love a good cat print and was intrigued by the double zipper, so I ordered the leopard print pair. Here's to hoping that they fit. If they do I will most definitely pick up the all black pair.
Normally I go insane for Sandro, but this season its little sister Maje that has my heart palpitating. Faux fur long animal print jacket? Yes please. Lace maxi dress? A must have for my annual holiday party. The sequined jeans paired with a cozy faux fur gray jacket? A must. And I LOVE the effortless French sexiness of the leopard print dress that will hug the body in all the right places. Maje will be one of my first stops when I hit NYC this November.